What's on my heart RIGHT NOW

Just let it go...
Let it all go...
STOP STRESSING AND WORRYING.
It's making it worse...
Why can't you just trust that things will work out?
Do you not know God?
Do you not know that he has his good and perfect ways?

However much you screw up and fall, and scrape yourself,
God will pick you up... Just let his presence take over and fill you.

LET HIM IN... Tara... Why do you keep pushing him out?

...

Am I doing the right thing?

Getting things accomplished

It feels good to do things...
To start something, and to finish it.

God, I wish this would happen more often where
I would be able to have enough will power to do something for your will and to
finish according to your purpose.
I love you.

Tara

Two steps forward and then one step back

Lord,
How long will it be before this finally comes to an end?
I hate how there always seems to be hope, and then
suddenly thing will change in a blink of an eye,
and that hope will be gone.

Lord,
When will I be able to rest my head against your shoulder
and hear you say, "It is finished."

I just want to be back in your arms again...
God, I just want to be a child held in your arms.

01.24.10

"Oh how I love you.. 

More than words can say

In the deepest heartfelt way."

Sabbath today, 

I love you so much. 

God... As wretched as I am

Father, how I want to be in your arms 

and held by you in your presence. 

I don't want to look or turn anywhere else Lord Jesus..

I just want to keep my eyes looked on my bride

and to love and adore it all the days of my life... 

Answer my prayer O God. 

Answer my plea Lord Jesus. 

Just you wait

Just you wait.
God has greater and bigger plans...
He always has a reason behind all things...
He's refining me... This time when I am lonely and broken, he WILL use me.

Just you wait.
There is a man out there for me...
One that God has personally hand chosen and created to suit me in every way.
I am broken for the times that things have not worked out but God has a plan.
He will neither forget me, nor abandon me.

He knows my name.
He knows my every thought.
He sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call. (He Knows my Name).

Just you wait.
God's plans will prevail, and I will be restored through the one and only name of Jesus.

It's probably worth a C but ITS DONE

ITS DONE ITS DONE
MY PAPER IS FINALLY DONE.
THANK YOU GOD.
I PROMISE I WILL NEVER EVER EVER PROCRASTINATE AGAIN.
Truly you are good.

Emotions.

Sometimes it's so hard to control our emotions.
Anger
Jealousy
Lust
Love
Frustration
Anxiety
Happiness
Joy
Worry

What do you do...
What would you do...

Time after time again... Things never seem to work out.
Actually, they can't even work out, because it never happens.
Still, you end up getting hurt.

What would you do.

Turn to God.
Look to where the love was first given.
Look unto the place where he promises, he will restore us.

A Pact to do better...

School is so important.
I never really fully understood that.
But today gave me a new outlook.

For once in my life (well for about the 20th time)
but truly and sincerely this time, I would like to do better...

Where does my best effort take me I wonder.

How much could I have accomplished if I had realized this sooner?

No matter..

Jesus, I want to do it.
I want to do well.. and do it well for YOUR KINGDOM.

Procrastination

A spur of laziness...
Not wanting to do things on time..
Maybe for the excitement of it.

Anyone who is thinking about procrastinating...
Forget it!
God hates laziness...
I hate myself for being lazy.
I hate myself for having left this until now..

God please,
help me to overcome this.
I need your help to undo the wrong doing of my own failures!

God loves ME.

Oh how God loves you so.
Oh how God loves me so.

How hard is it to believe that God loves you in the midst of your own hardships? Of course, it is obvious that when life is abundant and prosperous, you are able to trust in God.

How easy is it to fall away from God when life is difficult and frustrating?

God said, "I love you..."
My Pastor said, "He is the one carrying on you through the storm. He feels what you feel. He knows your pain."

I believe them. I need to trust that God is doing his work in my life and give up everything I am for him... Why is it so hard letting go of the worldly things? Why is it so easy to turn away and say, "I want to live a life that is unGodly and reckless?"

God... Only you know my suffering and trials. Only you know my temptations and doubts.

Surround me in your love, and take me away and into your word. That I may never leave your side again. You are always with me, but will I always choose to be with you?

Forgive me for what I've done.
Forgive me for who I am.

I love you.

Studying

For all those people out there that are in school, but hate it.
Try taking a different approach on things.

Today I finally decided to go to my development studies tutorial after missing a month's worth of tutorials.

It was okay... Then following, I went to the study session led by one of the older undergraduate students.

I think I'm understanding this whole concept of university.
Everyone around me, has an interest, a spark, something that motivates them to become knowledgable and educated people. I think I might try this out for a while.... Studying.

Learning something new, not for the purpose of something, but just for the fundamental interest of myself!
Lets try it....
Haha and see how long it lasts. ;)

At the End of the Day

At the end of the day...


I look out my window into the dark night sky.


The moonlight comes into my room...


I ask myself, what do I want?


What does my heart truly desire?


I spend countless hours every week at my church...


Why do I go?


For faith? For obligation? For a mission?


At the end of the day, my actions speak louder than my words.


At the end of day, I am left unsure of how "strong" of a christian I really am.